We should have been

We should have been grey haired, 
like the rest, beyond eighty even
Instead we were fair haired
and barely forty
We should have been pushing our children 
on swings in the park
Instead I was pushing you 
around bleak and solemn corridors 
where people go to die
You could have been bitter, mad as hell
or as sad as we would become
Instead you were grateful for all you 
still lived, as we ate cake and sang 
happy 2nd birthday to your girls
I should have, could have, said more, done more
loved more openly, less self-consciously
Instead I sat by your side, for as long as I could
feeding you ice, soothing your forehead, touching
your skin, ’til after your last breath was gone

3 responses to “We should have been

  1. Debra Mae White

    You bring tears to me eyes Shanee. My heart goes out to you and your loved one.

  2. Mairi Ann Cullen

    Turning the pain of grief into such beautiful poetry is amazing, Shanee. The pain really comes through – I’m sending you hugs. I can only imagine how bereft you feel.

  3. Shanee, that has the ring of authenticity about it, so I’m assuming it’s based on a real experience? My best friend from university died when we were both 48, and your poem triggered memories of her and the way she also bravely faced her death.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s