I want to write about you

I want to write about you
so I don’t forget you.

I want to remember the grains of our shared life 
before the tide washes over them 

and I can no longer hold them in my hand
or hear them in my heart.

I want to speak about 
something, anything, that 

brings you nearer,
back to life, maybe.

Even the times you hurt me
in ways big brothers do,
like the time you told me

to stick the knife in the toaster,
when it was on, and I obeyed,
in ways little sisters do.

Or the time you shot me
with paper bullets from an air rifle,

you wondered if they would work,
my bruise, the colour of rain clouds,
satisfied your curiosity.

Or the way you recognized an ally
in me, the first time 
your heart was broken.

I want to hold these pieces of us,
and a thousand more,

in a sacred place 
so that your dying, so that
us never speaking of them again –

of growing up as only we did, 
doesn’t mean it never was, or
that we never were.

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4 responses to “I want to write about you

  1. Thank you for another heart-opening offering, Shanee. You have captured something that is part of every human life for, no matter who we are, we have all lost somebody, whether through death or change, that we don’t want to forget. Bless you.

  2. You have a beautiful way of using words to heal Shanee.

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